-Here’s how it works. we each have two envelopes
containing confessions. One is true.
The other is a lie. Once you read your confession, the other two players
get to interrogate you, and then they have to come up
with a unanimous decision. Is it the truth, or is it a lie? -Ooh.
-[ Chuckles ] -Matthew, you’ll go first.
-Ooh. What envelope should he open,
number one or number two? -Oh, which one.
-I think we should say… -Number two.
-…number two. -Yeah, yeah.
-Number two. -Two. -See what we’ve got here. I once ate…
[ Laughs ] [ Laughter ]
I once ate peyote in a cage with a mountain lion. [ Laughter ] -Okay.
Can I start with a question? -Yes, of course. -What in God’s name is peyote? [ Laughter ]
-Oh, I know. Peyote is, like,
some type of hallucinogenic. -It’s a spiritual —
-Oh, it’s a drug. -You were in a c–
What year was this? -What year was this?
-Yeah, when was it? -14 years ago. -Yeah, and how could you be
in a cage with a mountain lion? -Well, that was the easy part. [ Laughter ] -Did the mountain lion
take any peyote. -[ Laughs ]
-I will say this — four hours later,
the mountain lion was cuddled up with me and purring. -He’s such a good actor.
I’m freaking out. Uh, wait. What would make you do this?
And was it a mistake? -No, it was one of
the more thrilling escapades of my life, actually.
[ Laughter ] -Did you pay someone to do this? -No, no, this was just me
and the mountain lion. -Do you take a lot of drugs?
-It was not filmed. [ Laughs ] -No, I do not. -What do you think? -Well, I think he is
quite druggy so… [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] -Right, but peyote with
a mountain lion is dangerous, so he could be
a little dangerous, too. -He may have thought
he saw a lion. -I’m going to go with true. -Okay.
I’ll say true, as well. -That is true. [ Cheers and applause ]
-[ Laughing ] Wait, what? -What?! -Are you kidding me? -It was in Mexico, if that helps to believe the story.
-Oh, in Mexico. -Ah, of course.
Anything happens… Are you serious?
-Yes. Were you freaking out? -No, that’s why it worked out. [ Laughter ] If I would have freaked out, it probably wouldn’t
have worked out. -Was the lion menacing
at any stage? -At the beginning.
-Wow. -But we got on
the same frequency. [ Laughter ] -Alright, alright, alright.
-Oh, my God! -We got on the mammalian
frequency and things all —
like I said, he ended up purring… -Oh, my…
-…just scratching him behind the ears
four hours later. Everyone should try it
at least once. -Alright. Which one should
I open, One or two. -Two, two!
-One! One! One! -One?
-[ Laughs ] -One. -I got hit by a car
at full speed and survived. [ Chuckles ]
-No, you didn’t. No, you didn’t. What’s full speed? Like a Matchbox car?
-I’d say probably… -Hot wheels? Regular size automobile?
-Yeah, sure. Regular size. I’d say it was like
an SUV, maybe. -SUV, maybe. -It was going very fast.
-What year was this? -I’d say it was probably
10 years ago maybe — -Were you doing peyote? [ Laughter ] -No, I was not doing peyote. -Did you go under the car
or over the top? -[ Chuckles ]
-A minor detail — -Are you picturing me
flipping over it? No, you know what happened,
is I — No, I didn’t — I didn’t —
-[ Laughs ] [ Laughter ] -I kind of grazed it. I grazed the mirror. -So, it didn’t really hit you
at full speed. -I spun around,
and my shoes came off. [ Laughter ] -You were in flip-flops, though. -No, I was into, like,
clogs at this time. -Ah, they were untied
anyway, though. -They were tied up.
-Mm! -What else were you wearing
besides clogs? -[ Chuckles ]
I was wearing jeans. -Did you have underwear on
under those jeans. -Yeah, for a moment. No, I did, yeah.
-Were those underwear the — Were they still clean
after the collision? -Yeah, no.
-Questions — -The story is false.
It’s false. -It is false. -For a start,
you weren’t really hit. If anything, you were brushed.
-It just nicked you. [ Laughter ]
-The story is true. I did get hit by an SUV
going like 60 in Manhattan. We were leaving a bar with
my friend, who works here. He can actually vouch for me. And I’m leaving, and I was
like, “I’ll get a cab,” and I walked into the street,
and this car went — And it was just speeding down, and I ripped the mirror
off the car because it was going that fast. -How is your arm?
-I had a giant gash. -Could it have been deliberate?
Was it Colbert? [ Laughter ]
-It was not — [ Cheers and applause ] -Stephen Colbert… This is before we had shows on
at the same time. He would never do that
to me back then. Alright, here we go.
Hugh, it is your turn. Oh, yeah.
One or two? -2. -2.
-2 again. Alright. As a child,
I had a compulsion to stick apple peel up my nose, and I spent many happy hours
having it removed by London’s finest doctors. [ Laughter ] -This already sounds very true. [ Laughter ] -How old were you?
How old were you? -I was 34. [ Laughter ] I guess I was 5 or so.
-But why would you — ‘Cause you had no toys?
Were you bored? You wanted
to see what would happen? -I think I know what it was. I had an uncle
who used to do that thing, where he wanted
to pick his nose, but he was too polite, so he used to do it with
a sort of hanky, you know, and I think I was impressed. why I transferred from hanky
to apple peel, I don’t know, but I did, and I quite enjoyed
the experience, and I repeated it.
-So, wait. You kept shoving — Did Mom or Dad know
you had them up your nose? -Yeah, I’d say,
“I’ve done it again,” and back we went to the ear, nose,
and throat specialist. -Damn it, Hugh,
you’ve done it again. You’ve done it again.
-Yeah. -I think it happened. -[ Laughing ] You do?
-I think it’s true, right? I think he’s — I think he’s pulling
our Johnson. -He’s saying false.
He said it didn’t happen. I agree with Matthew.
It did not happen. -Well, of course it happened. Of course it did. -It did happen. [ Laughter, applause ] Bad kid.
You’re a bad child. You’re a bad child. Our thanks
to Matthew McConaughey, Hugh Grant.