Season 7, Chapter 3 – Visiting Hours | Red vs. Blue

Season 7, Chapter 3 – Visiting Hours | Red vs. Blue


*Guitar Theme* Sarge: Come on men! Lopez said Donut was this way. Grif: Are you sure that’s what he said? I don’t think pendejo is spanish for that way. Caboose: Muffin man! Donut: Caboose! I have a message for Church. Wh-where is he? Caboose: Hey, are you ok? Donut: Just a little weak. Where’s Church? Caboose: Church? Oh, um, he’s not here right now. Donut: Where is he? Caboose: Uh, he’s uh, he, that’s kind of a, uh, um. It turns out he was really a computer program based on some guy who ran the freelancer project and then he went with agent Washington, he’s a freelancer, and destroyed all the other AIs that were left. Well almost all. Donut: How long was I asleep? Caboose: Not that long. Donut: Listen, I don’t know how long I can stay awake. I need to give someone on blue team a message. I promised. Caboose: I know people on the blue team. People on the inside. You can give it to me. Donut: Tuck- Caboose: Tuck! You want me to Tuck? What do you want me to Tuck? Wait my mother told me never to tuck anything of anyone else’s. Donut: Tucker… Caboose: Tucker? He needs help. Find him…It’s in… the sand. Caboose: It’s in this and? This and what? Donut this and what?! What is this?! Wha-what, your pocket? Is Tucker in your pocket? I remember him being a lot bigger. Tucker! Are you in there?! Sarge:(Outside) Hey! (Outside) Anybody here? (Outside) Blue? (Outside) Where are you? Caboose: Tucker! Is that you? Why did you shrink? And why are you talking like a pirate? Sarge:(Outside) Helloooo? Caboose: Hello! Yes I hear you! Sarge:(Outside) Then get outside! (Outside) I need to talk to you! Caboose: Out? Ohhhhh! I see I thought… man, sometimes I am so dumb. Hold on, pocket Tucker! Someone outside wants to talk to me! Donut, you can rest here as long as you want. You must be tired from all of this and. And other stuff. Donut: No…it’s not pink…It’s lightish red… Hey, Sarge…I should totally get a jetpack. Or a motorcycle… Caboose: Hey, guys! Great to see you. Wait… Unless you’re here to blow me up… Then… not so great. Sarge: We’re looking for something we’ve, uh… uh… lost. Caboose: Is it the keys to your base? I do that a lot. But it’s really easy to break in, because… …there are no doors. Sarge: No, we’re looking for something else! But I’m not gonna tell you what it is, and give you some kind of advantage! Caboose: Can you describe it? Grif: Yeah, it’s pink… Simmons: …it’s annoying… Sarge: …and it’s got a spring in its step – Caboose: Oh, you mean Donut. Sarge: Ah, yes! Where is he? Caboose: He’s in my base. He’ll be staying with me for a little while. Sarge: You’ve captured him?! Diabolical… What’re you doing with him?! Caboose: Don’t worry. He’s resting. …Comfortably. Grif: Ooh, that sounds ominous. Don’t back down now, sir. Sarge: Give him back! Caboose: Actually, there’s some things he needs to tell me. I’ll send him home after that. Sarge: Squeezing him for information, eh? Simmons: Sarge, I don’t think that he’s – Caboose: Hey! No one is squeezing anybody. I was just working with my tools, and he – Sarge: Torture?! You ungodly fiend! He won’t give you any info! He’ll die before he reveals anything! …Hear that, Donut?! You’ll die before you talk! We all know that – keep up the good work! Caboose: Actually, he already told me the beginning part. Sarge: He told you about our secret new vehicle?! Dammit, Donut, you idiot! Simmons: Sarge! Caboose: He told me about “this and…” Sarge: He told you about that AND our new hologram chamber?! Donut, put a lid on it! Simmons: Sarge! *sigh* I’m gonna go sleep under a tree. Come wake me up when the brain summit is over. Grif: Are you kidding? I hope this lasts forever! Psst. Hey, Sarge. Maybe there’s a ransom. Sarge: Good thinking. What is it you want, blue? Caboose: What do I want? …Do you have any cookies? Sarge: What’re your demands? You have to give us your demands! Caboose: I DEMAND COOKIES! Sarge: Now you’re just toying with us. Your depravity knows no bounds! Grif: Yeah! Caboose: Well, at least I don’t go around… …knocking on people’s non-doors… …and promising them cookies… …and then NOT GIVING THEM COOKIES! I’M LEAVING! Sarge: Wait! Grif: Hmm… Looks like negotiations have broken down. Should we call in a nuke strike? Sarge: Negative! We’ve got a man in there! Well, you know… …Donut. Donut: (Inside) Ow! That hurt! Sarge: Oh, listen to that! He’s killing him in there! Caboose: Oops! Sorry, Donut! Didn’t mean to step on your head like that. Are you okay? Donut: Wh-What happened? Who was that? Caboose: Oh, that was your team. They’re playing some kind of prank. Offering snacks, and then not giving snacks… Donut: I hate when they do that! Who was it? Caboose: Oh, it was red sergeant and Grif. They were working together while Simmons was laying under a tree, being lazy. Donut: What the…? How long was I asleep this time? Sarge: Donut! Just don’t tell him we have Lopez back! Caboose: Where am I…? Ah, well that looks nice! OH MY GOD! A GIANT PERSON!

91 comments

  1. The part where Caboose explained the ENTIRE season 6 conclusion to Donut is both impressive and more proof that he's either faking idiocy OR was a smart person until Omally got in his head and still has the smarts, but cannot express it properly anymore. Either way, I pity him for being forced into his current situation.

  2. the part of caboose explaining where donut is one of my favorite scenes…that and the tex fight between the purples

  3. Well at least I dont just walk around…knock on peoples non-doors and promise them COOKIES!!!…….AM LEAVING!!!!

  4. alright YouTube an ad that lasts fifty three minutes? and I thought the same five seconds ad every single video was annoying but for goodness sake, please fix your sh*t.

  5. Fuck all these “Ghost in the Shell” ads. Seriously, all I see now is Scarlett Johansson in this new movie.

  6. It just now occurred to me that Epsilon was most likely confused by Donut's delirious sleep talk than he was by Caboose recounting the events that got them to this point.

  7. "Well, at least i don't go around…knocking on people's non-doors…and promising them cookies…and then NOT GIVING THEM COOKIES!" Caboose has some of the best lines in the show.

  8. This makes so much more sense after watching Relocated. First time I watched, I didn't even know there were mini-series because I watched it on Netflix, so I'm going through them on Youtube now to watch the mini-series and seasons in order.

  9. I cant believe Caboose actually figured out they were talking about Donut…
    and then proceded to ask for cookies.

  10. Sooo, Simmons going to sleep under a frickin tree, while Grif staying up to outsmart two peoples at once. While granted, it's Sarge and Caboose, it still feel like opposite day. 😂

  11. I wish Church hadn't died. He was my favorite character. At least he got a hero's death I guess.

  12. Anyone out there that knows RWBY a bit? Instead of 3:39, go here xD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANFWyA0qOOc

  13. Has anyone else noticed that every time in the series it’s always been the blue team that has had to deal with the plot line stuff and the red team either interrupts or blindly joins em outta pure stupidity and that they don’t ever really ever change anything still glad to know that they are the best of the comedy in this I think the sarge and griff dialogue is the funniest parts

  14. this is an episode where cabooses' stupid, despicable me's minions-like personality actually works and made me laugh, and right after the conclusion to season 6. good work.

  15. Sometimes I find myself wondering what it is about this show that makes me put it on such a high pedestal, when there are so many others that are arguably better than it in one way or another. …Then I hear Caboose greet Donut by exclaiming "Muffin Man!," and I'm filled with a mix of joy and glee in a combination that you can't really get anywhere else. Because the truth is, there's dozens of superhero cartoons now, more sitcoms than you can count, and just as many animated shows that will never be the Simpsons no matter how hard they try (INCLUDING the Simpsons, these days). But there's only one Red vs Blue.

  16. Aaaahhhh I love it! Caboose had a Church-style rage-quit:

    Sarge: What is it you want, Blue?
    Cabose: What do I want? …Do you have any cookies?
    Sarge: You have to give us your demands!
    Cabose: I DEMAND COOKIES!
    Sarge: Now you're just toying with us. Your depravity knows no bounds!
    Cabose (through gritted teeth): Well at least! I do not go around! Knocking on people's non-doors! And promising them cookies! AND THEN NOT GIVING THEM ANY! COOKIES!!

    I'M LEAVING!

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