Iran Retaliates & Trump Outlines Next Steps | The Daily Show

Iran Retaliates & Trump Outlines Next Steps | The Daily Show


It’s no exaggeration to say
the world has been on edge ever since the United States
killed Qasem Soleimani, Iranian general
and evil Sean Connery. And everyone was wondering
how Iran would respond. Well, last night, we found out. NEWSMAN:
Overnight, Iran taking revenge, launching a barrage of missiles targeting
two U.S. military bases and coalition troops in Iraq. REPORTER 2: This, Iran said,
was its vengeance for the U.S.’s killing
of its top general. There were at least two waves
of attacks. Then Iran’s foreign minister
tweeted his country was ready
to step back if there was
no American counterattack. REPORTER: And this morning,
no reports of U.S. coalition or Iraqi casualties. We’ve just heard from the Iraqi
prime minister’s office that they did indeed receive
notification from the Iranians that there would be a strike. That was a full five hours
and 45 minutes before those missiles came in. That’s right. Last night,
Iran launched 15 missiles at American forces in Iraq. But in an interesting twist, they killed no one, hurt no one and gave the Iraqi bases
a six-hour heads-up, which is a lot of warning. It’s almost like
they were sitting there, like, “Let’s give them
one-hour notice.” It’s like, “But, sir, what if
they’re watching The Irishman?” “Okay. “Six hours.
Give them six hours. They need time.” (applause) So, Iran fired 15 missiles, gave one giant warning
and basically missed everything, which most people agree means that Iran wants this thing
to go away. They wanted to respond
to-to the United States in a way that would let them
keep their pride but then also not in a way that would escalate
this conflict into a war. In fact,
in international diplomacy, this type of action is known as a “hold me back, bro.” And… and, clearly, it worked. It clearly worked. Because
after the missile attack, President Trump
sent out a tweet saying, “All is well.” Yeah. Which was hilarious, because the tweet was composed
like Trump was writing a letter from the front lines
of the Civil War. -“My dearest Twitter,
-(fiddle playing) “all is well! “Missiles launched from Iraq. “So far, so good. “I hope to see you soon. “Please kiss Ivanka for me
and not Eric. “Sincerely, Donald. “#MAGA #ReadTheTranscript” (cheering and applause) So… It seemed
like Iran was stepping down, Trump was happy
with their decision and, today, the president
addressed the nation to give everybody an update. And– I’m not gonna lie– the address started out
a little weird. (shutters clicking) As long as I’m president
of the United States, Iran will never be allowed
to have a nuclear weapon. Good morning. (laughter) Okay. Okay. I-Is it– is it just me or-or did Trump find a way
to make this national address sound like the beginning
of an infomercial? Yeah? “Iran will never have
nuclear weapons. “Hi, I’m Donald Trump. Tired of missile strikes
when you aren’t even home?” So, a really weird start. But, fortunately, once Trump
got into the meat of his speech, he reassured everybody that,
at least for the moment, the beef with Iran
has been squashed. Iran appears
to be standing down, which is a good thing
for all parties concerned and a very good thing
for the world. The civilized world must send
a clear and unified message to the Iranian regime: your campaign of terror,
murder, mayhem will not be “toler-ited”
any longer. (sniffs) These historic
“accompliment-shades” are strategic priorities. (groans) Whoa, what-what was that? “Toler-ited”? “Accompliment-shades”? Trump’s mouth
was missing more targets than those Iranian missiles.
Just… And, now–
and, now, personally… (cheering, applause) Personally, honestly,
I’m glad. I’m glad that Iran and
Donald Trump seem to have agreed to let things settle down.
Right? ‘Cause Trump got
what he wanted– kill the general and it
didn’t escalate into anything. This is a win for him.
But I pray, I pray that Donald Trump doesn’t
start watching Fox News again anytime soon, because, for them,
all is not well. They’re gonna get hit hard. Their hostility will now be met with the full force
of the greatest, most advanced, most sophisticated military
this world has ever seen. This president will unleash
holy hell on that regime. The mullahs only understand
one language, and that’s the language
of death. Um, sadly. And if death is what
we have to give them to stop this, then, sadly,
that’s what we have to do. Number one,
target not just the oil but target the launch sites that
fired those 15 missiles today. Ollie North is right. It’s–
It-it is oil refineries, oil infrastructure. It is key missile sites. It’s nuclear development sites. Throw in some ports,
key infrastructure and, you know what,
why not a Quds headquarters, uh, for-for good nature
on top of it. What? “Throw in some ports and infrastructure
while you’re at it”? This is wild. This dude
is just adding bombing targets like he’s making impulse buys
at the register. “You know what?
Throw in Chapstick and Snickers “and a drone strike
at an airport, ’cause Daddy got paid!”

100 comments

  1. I do hope you must move your small office to this county and talking your absurd joke over there. I want to ask you why you don't talk about the shutdown of a Ukrainian civil pax. aircraft killing the life of innocent people 176??????

  2. I see it as less of a "hold me back" out of fear of some kind of retaliation, and more as a good PR move. Now Iran is the one putting effort into avoiding killing people while accomplishing its objective, while the US is a bloodthirsty warmonger with no care for collateral damage or international law.

  3. Every time Trump succeeds, the liberal left be like…. "Yeah sure, you solved the quantum physics of photosynthesis, but your breath stinks…lololololololololollollollooloolololoololooloollolooloolo!…."

  4. Iran is laying low for now. Just wait. Bush said Mission Accomplished — yeah right. We're still paying for and fighting Bush's war nineteen years later. Trump will bankrupt the nation. Bush's spending kicked off the Great Recession. Imagine what Trumps spending will do to our country. Already he's driven the national debt up to historic heights — trillions more. What a disaster for our country.

  5. Iran is the only country which stood for the right rather than becoming a bitch of USA like saudi, japan, south korea,pakistan. Shinzo abe goes running behind trump, same is with saudi which have a puppet govt(the suleiman family) which needs USA to rule the country. Iran demanded what was its own(oil wells)and then nations like USA and GREAT BRITAIN talk bout human rights. Fuckin ironic as we say in their language. Same was the case with saddam hussain who came to power with the help of USA and when became patriotic and demanded what was his own was hanged by USA on totally false claims. This makes me think that UBL was a terrorist in the eyes of USA not the world. All he wanted was his nation saudi free from the influence of foreign powers and though he could have resolved to peaceful means but as they say one can yell everywhere but no one listens until and unless something big happens. I have full sympathy with those who died in 911 but the relatives of the sufferers need to realise that the establishment was responsible for all their deaths. When you being a superpower are going to plunder a nation they will rise to freedom. Long live IRAN. RMBR AMERICANS, BEING PROUD OF YOU NATION IS ONE THING AND BEING ARROGANT IS ANOTHER. DONT FORGET THE RESULT OF ARROGANCE LEFT THE GREAT BRITISH EMPIRE SHATTERED. THE NATION WHICH ONCE WAS A MIGHTY SUPERPOWER CAN'T EVEN MAINTAIN ITS OWN BORDERS NOWADAYS BE IT THE IRA IN IRELAND OR SCOTLAND. INCLUDE BREXIT TOO. WITH THE RECENT ARRIVAL OF TRUMP AND ALL THE NATIONALISTIC SENTIMENT WILL LEAVE ONE NOWHERE APART FROM BECOMING A FOOL. AMERICA WON AND THE SOVIETS NEVER DID DUE TO RATIONAL AND LIBERAL THINKING. HAD THEY ATTACKED EVERY NATION CONSIDERING THEIR MILITARY MIGHT AS THE SOVIETS DID THINGS COULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT. I SAY SO CUZ I NEVER WANT CHINA TO BE THE NEXT SUPERPOWER CUZ WE KNOW WHAT ITS GONNA BE LIKE THEN. THE FUCKIN REGIME DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT HUMAN RIGHTS IS BE IT THE UIGHUR MUSLIMS BE IT THE TIANAMMEN MASSCRE. THEY ARE GOING TO FUCKIN ATTACK EACH AND EVERY COUNTRY AND KEEP THEIR OWN PEOPLE UNKNOWN OF THEIR EVIL ACTS AND ALL THE WHILE PEOPLE ARE GONNA VOTE OUT OF NATIONALISM AND THE PROPOGANDA IN WHICH THEY PAY JOURNALISTS MILLIONS TO CREATE A FALSE NOTION OF CHINA THROUGHOUT THE WORLD.
    EDIT: SOUTH KOREA PAYS 2 BILLION $ PER ANNUM FOR ITS PROTECTION BY USA. FUCKIN US MILITARY WORKIN AS MERCENARIES NOWADAYS. AND THEY SAY THE FUTURE OF USA IS BRIGHT. ONE NATION WHOSE MILITARY CANT BE ENOUGH PATRIOTIC TO SERVE FOR ITS OWN COUNTRY NEEDS TO GO THROUGH ITS FOUNDATION PRINCIPLES.

  6. Soooo easy to talk about ratalliating and murdering people from a distance isn't it FOX. US started it all, stop crying like a baby when you get hit back for once. Like a privileged bully that never knew what pain was until he met the wrong person to mess with.

  7. 1:47 hold me back bro, or I'm gonna shoot down this plane that I'm just seeing
    Most of Trevor's jokes didn't age well, hahaha

  8. Iranians should go after every Trump Property and business. In this way, Iran can win the hearts of the American People and Destroy Trump Economically without going to war. A win Win!

  9. Trump has a hard-on to kill people in a war. Rich white men in the US have a history of loving war because war makes them rich.

  10. FYI: The greatest, most advanced military this world has ever seen (aka America)… Lost the Vietnam War to a bunch of tiny little Asian rice farmers wearing black pajamas. Regardless of their money, superior weaponry & superior air power… The US STILL couldnt beat a lesser opponent & they were forced to retreat (aka surrender) with their tales tucked between their legs. Lets not get it twisted.

  11. Can you really not see that the people are the ones being lied to.

    If any of this was real and not staged bullshit the moment iran gave a 6 hr heads up we would have been at war and the united states could have bombed every military base in iran in that instant.

    This is all bullshit. Fucking entertainment for rich pigs to feed into so that those really in power can manipulate the movement of wealth around the world.

  12. I bet it was his buildings that were going to get attacked and 45 used American forces to defend his personal property

  13. I am first time on this channel, it is funny but why does the host hate Trump so much? Trump is the first president who has the gut to defend the security of America. I am not American, just trying to think objectively

  14. "Olllie North is right!!" …..and then I check out. Of course though, he has the most psychopathic response than all of them

  15. Cause baby your a FIREWORK. Come on lets kill another JERK. Make him blow up up UP. Cause his whole presidency sucked sucked SUCKED.

  16. i wonder what impact war has on climate change.. probably there's a difference when certain countries do it, cause they are permitted to have wmd's. oh snap, forget about heroshima; that doesn't apply

  17. Our history in the middle east over the last 18 years has been an elaborate, unfortunate joke at the expense of the American taxpayers (and those who died, of course). But then who would expect anything different from a country founded on the principles of genocide, imperialism, and slavery. The fact that we have been at war so many years of our relatively short history proves that most Americans are at least borderline psychopaths…

  18. FIRST TIME THIS GUY USES HIS BRAIN!? THE ONLY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD CREATING CONFLICTS IS THE US….STARTED WARS, INVADED COUNTRIES, CHANGED PRESIDENTS IN OTHER COUNTRIES, DROPPED ATOMIC BOMBS, INFILTRATED MILITIAS, KILLED MILLIONS OF INNOCENT PEOPLE SINCE THE LATE 50'S…AND THAT'S OK BUT IF ANOTHER COUNTRY DOES IT A SINGLE TIME IS CALLED EVIL AND WE THE POLICE? OF THE WORLD? HAVE TO KILL THEM!!?? AMERICANS WAKE UP!! WE SHOULDN'T CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHER COUNTRIES DO IN OTHER PARTS OF THE WORLD, THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN A THREAT TO THE US??!! AMERICANS ARE BRAIN WASHED EVERY SINGLE DAY!!

  19. I have gained newfound respect for Iran for handling this mess with professionalism and leadership.
    This is the way JFK would have handled this situation.
    Trump is an embarrassment.

  20. 塈堭塈 堻堛 堛堭塈椈 堭塈 堹堻堛 堹塈堭 堛堭塈椈 椈塈 塈 堭堹 塈堭塈 塈堻堛 塈 堭堹 塈堭塈 塈堬 婺 堻堛痧堭 堶塈琠塈 堶堬堥 塈 塈堭塈 堥 堻堛 堞堹 堛堭塈椈 堭堹 婺 塈堭塈 堭塈 堹堭琠 琠堹 堛堭塈椈 堭塈 堹堻堛 堹塈堭 堛堭塈椈 琠 堥塈堭堬 塈媢 媢 堛堭堭堻堛 堻堛 堛堭塈椈 堭塈 堹堻堛 堹塈堭 堛堭塈椈 堥 媢塈 塈媢 塈堻塈 堻堛 媟堭堹塈堭 塈堻塈堛

  21. 24 hours later: Entire plane shot down with 176 travelers/ civilians killed. >>all is (…) <<

  22. They didnt miss anything they shot the missiles exactly where they wanted them to let Americans know they have money to fight.

  23. It would be very appreciated if all those people who want to fight and kill each other in Iran could fill out their BODY PARTS DONER CARDS AND KEEP THEM ON THEIR BODIES AT ALL TIMES AS THERE IS A GREAT DEMAND FOR BODY PARTS AROUND THE WORLD ..THANKS EVERYONE FOR YOUR DONOR DONATIONS! YOUR DEATH COULD SAVE A LIFE IN THE USA! OWER MEDICAL TEAMS ARE ON STANDBY AND SO ARE OUR SURGEONS! PATIENTS ARE ALSO WAITING SOME MANY YEARS! IT'S ALL GOOD WHAT YOU ARE DOING FOR THOSE PATIENTS! WE NEED BODY PARTS!

  24. iranaians are now protesting against their own government and want their leaders to step down. i hope trevor noah will show video clips of iranians protesting against their government and tearing down the posters of qasem soleimani.

  25. None of these late night shows talk about the shooting down of the plane that had no Americans on board as a result of US actions

  26. For educated Bible scholars, quick question – how do you say "abomination that causes desolation" in two languages across different continents?

  27. I see so many individuals who ignorantly repeat FOX TV; some of them my own educated Anglo friends.
    greetings from north California
    age 70, Iranian expat.

  28. Not so far, so good! He is liar. Recently reporters going to the air base that shows seriously damaged by Iran missiles attacked.
    We are luck, Iran informed Iraq before attack, otherwise hundreds of people there could be died.
    What a Joke his guy…

  29. yes by killing more than 80 US soldiers !!! US didn't dare to answer so said there were no casualties !!! based on Newsweek article and Haaretz journalist more than 270 dead and injured have been sent to Israeli hospitals !!!!

  30. The Republicans and 45 have turned the 2020 table back into their favor with one of the best and often used political party plays to change the public view-no not money:
    War on Terrorism.

  31. Dear rich white old men, stop trying to colonise the world, sit down and just retire already, you clearly have enough to do so and this way you'll also die faster and your poor old heart will no longer have to suffer the injustice of being in a world where there's people who aren't your slaves or partners or both

  32. trump wouldn't order shit unless the Russians/Iran approved it …. looking at his ratings they had to give him a win to keep him in office … why mot a general who was more likely to go rogue…

  33. 堛堭塈椈 奡塈 堬堥塈 堹塈堭堹 媞 塈堹堭塈 堹塈媞堹塈堭 塈堭塈 媢堭塈 堭塈 堥堹 堛堭塈椈 媯堹塈 塈 塈 琠堹琠塈 堻堭 堭塈 奡堹 堛堭塈椈 堭塈 堹堻堛 堹塈堭 媟堭堹塈堭 塈堻塈堛 塈堻堛 堛 塈 堭塈 堥 堥 堬堹痧 堹堭 塈 堿 琠 塈奡 堮塈堭塈 塈堻堛 塈堹塈堭 奡 堹 堮塈堹 堮塈堭塈 堳 痧堸奡堛 堬堥塈 堥塈奡堹 堹 堮塈堹 堳 痧堸奡堛 塈堬 堮塈堭塈 媯堹塈 堮堹 琠堹琠塈 奡堹 奡堹 堛堭塈椈 堭塈 堹堻堛 堹塈堭 堛堭塈椈 塈堿 塈 堭堹 塈堬 堹堻堛 堛堭堭堻堛 塈堻堛 堛塈堭琠 堻堭堬 堭塈 痧堭堛 堥塈 堞堹 堛堭塈椈 堭 堹堭 堹 堭奡 奡堹 堹痧堭 奡堹 琠 琠堻 堞堹 琠 堭堹 琠奡堭 塈堭塈 媢堭塈 堻堭 堭塈 堿塈堛 堹堹 奡塈堹 奡塈 堹琠堭塈堛塈 堞堭琠塈 奡堹 媯堹塈 塈 堭堹 堮塈堭塈 堥堭塈堛塈 塈堛 堹塈奡堛 堥塈奡堹 塈塈 堹堭 堞堭琠塈 堭堹 堥塈奡媢堭 椈堹塈 奡堹 琠 堶堻塈堥奡塈 塈堬 堶堻塈堥 堹琠堭塈堛塈 堞堭琠塈 堿堹塈堻堛 塈痧堭 堿堭塈堛 堹塈堭 堥塈堹 塈堭塈 堥痧堹 琠 琠 堹琠堭塈堛 堞堭琠塈 堻堛 堛塈 堥堥 堭堹 媟堭 堿堭堛 堹堹

  34. I WILL SUE ANY AIRLINE FLY ME OVER IRAN..as i have the right to know as a passenger which routes it plane to take so i will cancel boarding..if airlines lies about it i will sue them and make money behind it.. my life is more valuable than flying over this sick regime

  35. Its like…. Trump is having one slow, subtle and continuous stroke from the time he got in to Office and is gonna drop some day…. 'Taliorated'… whaaat!?

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